Tiny Wisdom: On Constant Change

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 “When you’re

finished 

changing, 

you’re finished.”

-Benjamin Franklin



A few years back,
I reconnected with
an old friend from high school.
Years after we met, we both struggled
with depression and dealt with messy, public recoveries.

He said that seeing me was disheartening because I seemed like an after picture,
whereas he felt like he had so much more work to do.
While I recognized that I had come a long way, I knew he formed this conclusion
partly because he wasn’t seeing a complete picture. He was seeing confidence
and a smile within an isolated moment in time and assuming this was
a static final destination.

The truth was (and is) that I am not done changing and I will never be.
None of us will.
We will never feel like we have arrived and there is nothing left to learn,
challenge, or change.

In a world where transformation sells–and sells well–it’s easy to believe
that there will be a point in time when everything gets good and stays that way,
but happiness is not about arriving. It’s about accepting that the journey is endless,
and that it is not only OK but beautiful to have more room to grow.

Today if you’re feeling frustrated about a change you’ve been struggling to make,
remind yourself:

"Happiness is not where you’re headed; it’s being good to yourself on the way there."

by Lori Deschene

Tiny Wisdom: On Simple Confidence

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“Confidence 

is preparation. 

Everything else 

is beyond 

your control.” 

-Richard Kline

People often think confidence means knowing you can create
the outcome you desire.

To some extent it does, but this idea isn’t universally true for anyone.
No matter how talented, smart, or capable you are, you cannot predict
or control everything that happens in your life.

Even confident people lose jobs, relationships, and even their health.

Confidence comes from knowing your competence but acknowledging
it’s not solely responsible for creating your world. When you take that
weight off your shoulders and realize that sometimes the twists and
turns have nothing to do with what you did or should have done,
it’s easier to feel confident in what you bring to the table.

Today if you feel insecure about something you’re working toward,
pull your focus away from the outcome and back to your output.
Focus on what you have to offer and how well you can use it.
 Do your homework, do the legwork, and then know you’re doing
everything you possibly can.

There’s a lot we can’t control in life, but we can know we’re doing our best
with the things that are within our control.

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Apr 26, 2011 04:17 am | Lori Deschene

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Tiny Wisdom: On Creating Happiness

“Happiness is not
something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.” 

-Dalai Lama

I’d be happy if I had a boyfriend.
I’d be happy if my boss promoted me.
I’d be happy if I had a larger house.

It’s not uncommon for people to make
these assumptions–
to believe happiness exists in some
alternate reality where people
and conditions are different.

In a way that’s comforting. It absolves you of responsibility,
and puts the blame neatly on other people’s shoulders.

But it also gives them the power.

You create your own happiness through the choices you make day to day.
Not just the steps you take toward your dreams, but also the choice to enjoy
where you are right now.

The joy you get when you meet new people and learn from them.

The passion you feel when you work on something you love.

The peace you feel when you settle into a familiar routine with family.

It’s all available to you now.

What actions can you take today to create and tap into happiness?


Apr 25, 2011 12:07 am | Lori Deschene

Tiny Wisdom: On Enjoying the Light

“If you spend your whole life 

waiting for the storm, 

you’ll never enjoy 

the sunshine.” 

-Morris West

Today I watched  Finding Nemo,
one of my absolute favorite Disney
movies.

When Dory and Marlin
are searching for his lost son Nemo
and it seems like they’re doomed to fail,
Marlin says, “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.”

Dory responds, “Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise. You can’t never let
anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.
Not much fun for little Harpo.”
As someone who has often worried about people I love, I find this
incredibly insightful. The truth is we never can know for certain
when a storm is coming. We can’t fully protect ourselves or the people
we love from hardship.
What we can do is choose not to cause ourselves pain by shutting down,
fearing everything that might go wrong. When we hide from the worst
that could possibly happen, we also close ourselves off from the best.
Today if you’re feeling fearful about things that might go wrong tomorrow,
come back to the present and recognize things that are going right today.

There’s a lot of sunshine to enjoy in life, but we can only appreciate it
if we’re willing to be firmly rooted in the here and now.


Apr 17, 2011 11:48 pm | Lori Deschene

How to Save a Trillion Dollars

NEW YORK, April 13, 2011: In the scheme
of things, saving the 38 billion dollars that
Congress seems poised to agree upon is
not a big deal.

A big deal is saving a trillion bucks.

And we could do that by preventing disease
insteadof treating it, using proper nutrition
as the cure.

For the first time in history, lifestyle diseases
like diabetes, heart disease, some cancers and
others kill more people than communicable ones.
Treating these diseases -- and futile attempts
to "cure" them -- costs a fortune, more than
one-seventh of our GDP.

Dr. David Ludwig, a Harvard-affiliated pediatrician
and the author of "Ending the Food Fight," says,
"The magnitude of the deficit is small when you
consider costs of nutrition-related disease;
the $4 trillion that the Republicans want cut over a decade is about the same as
the projected costs of diabetes over that same period." But this is preventable,
and you prevent these diseases the same way you cause them: lifestyle.
A sane diet, along with exercise, meditation and intangibles like love prevent
and even reverse disease.

The best way to combat diet-related diseases is to change what we eat. And if our
thinking is along the lines of diet improved = deficit reduced, so much the better.
If a better diet were to result only in a 10 percent decrease in heart disease,
that's $100 billion project savings per year by 2030.

This isn't just fiscal responsibility, but social responsibility as well. And the alternative
is not only fiscal catastrophe but millions of premature deaths.

Daily Inspiration

O God of mercy who performs the dance of illimitable happiness in the hall of inconceivable intelligence! The Rig and the other Vedas are thundering forth in words, announcing to us that all are thy slaves, all things belong to thee, all actions are thine, that thou pervades everywhere, that this is thy nature. Such is the teaching of those who, though they never speak, broke silence for our sake.
-- Tayumanavar
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http://www.hinduismtoday.com/

Hindu Press Today  April 16, 2011

Deal with Panic and Anxiety

I can still
remember the day.
It was shortly after
my divorce.
I was a single parent
with no money and
two young children.
It came upon me suddenly,
out of the blue.

I couldn't breathe.

My chest hurt.
My heart hurt.
I couldn't stop it.
I panicked.
The more I panicked,
the worse it got.

I called 911. The ambulance came. They gave me some oxygen, they politely told me
not to worry; it was just a panic attack. I had experienced another one of those attacks,
a long time ago. Right after I first married the children's father, I had shut myself down
from anxiety. I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak from the fear I felt.

Many people experience panic and anxiety attacks. Maybe it's happened to you.
Maybe you've had only one or two incidents of it; maybe panic and anxiety make
regular appearances in your life. Most people I've met have experienced fear.

These are a few little clues I've learned that have helped me to deal with my own attacks.

* Breathe. Whenever we panic, our breath comes in shallow, awkward spurts.
By deliberately breathing slowly and calmly, we can slow our panic down.
We feed it by breathing fast. We put our bodies on hyperalert. If we breathe
as though we're relaxed, our bodies will start slowing down.

* Don't respond to your panic with more fear. Sometimes we double what we're
going through by having an emotional reaction to our initial reaction. We're afraid,
because we're feeling fear. Let yourself go through the original feeling without
reacting to yourself.

* Instead of focusing on your fear, let yourself be aware that you're feeling it,
but deliberately do something that calms you down. You won't want to do this.
Your panic will want you to do something else, something that feeds panic and
makes it grow. Do something calming and quiet, even though that activity doesn't
feel right to you. It could be reading a meditation, listening to some quiet music,
taking a shower, or saying a prayer. We all have things that help calm us down.
Find something that works for you.

If panic and anxiety are a continual problem, seek professional help. But if they are
only isolated incidents in your life, you may be able to help yourself. One tool that
has never let me down when it comes to anxiety and fear is working Step One
of the Twelve Step program. I admit that I'm powerless over my panic and fear,
and my life has become unmanageable.

Then I ask God what I need to do next.

Don't let your fears run your life. Make it a goal to get through them. Ask them
what they're trying to tell you. You may be on a path that's new, and your body
is just reacting to that. There may be a hidden emotion underneath all this fear,
something you'd rather not see. Or maybe you and your life are just changing
so fast that everything in your world is brand new. Be gentle and loving with
yourself and others.

God help me welcome all the new experiences in my life. Give me the courage
to calmly walk my path today, knowing I'm right where I need to be.

More Language of Letting Go
by Melody Beattie


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The Whole Body Smile

Smile, it makes them wonder what you are up to.
No, not that smarmy, guilty looking grin that the 
Cheshire Cat wore to help make Alice into the 
star she is today.

No, not that slight curvature of the corners of your 
mouth that you force onto your face when the little
old lady pinches your cheek.

Yes, your real smile, the one that goes from the 
top of your head all the way down to your toes, 
“the whole body smile.”

Never heard of it, don't know how to do it??
 

Just follow these simple instructions,  these twelve easy steps:

1) Be happy. It is an attitude, just do it.

2) Clear your brain of any activity. (Like thinking) For most of us
there is no effort required, this is better known as our normal state of mind.

3) Open your eyes. Sparkling, smiling, laughing eyes are beautiful to behold
and the wonder is how those smiling eyes see things more clearly.
Every day something new is born into this world.
Smile, God made it just for you to enjoy.

4) Shut your mouth. You cannot hear when your mouth is moving,
nor can you smile when you mouth is moving.

5) Clean out your ears. Listen closely to others and heed the word of God.
God has endowed man with the ability to make beautiful music,
learn to listen and listen to enjoy.

6) Relax.
Ever notice that the back of your neck is always tense,
bad habit, smiles make the stress go away.

7) Follow your heart.
Love enormously, love often and smile when you think of those that you love.
Remember that you may like things, you may enjoy things, you may want things,
but your only need is to love people, God and pets.

8) Hug everything, even trees.
God has given you two arms and two hands so that you may hold onto
those things that make you smile, however, we must remember that
God’s will may take those things from us at anytime and we must let go
and learn to smile when we remember the good times.
Hand in hand we will do for each other what we cannot do alone
If you are holding my hand I cannot pick up a drink.

9) Trust your gut feelings.
God has given you the intuitive instincts to protect your feelings from being hurt.
Learn to smile when you say "I told you so."

10) Move out of the way.
God has given you two legs to allow you to motivate your body to places that are happy.
Go there.
Smile in anticipation while you are moving towards your happy destination,
and make the smile even larger when you have reached your goal.

11) Dance.
God has given you two feet to celebrate the rest of your body.
Don't think about it, don't talk about it, see it, feel it, trust it,
listen to the music and move to the rhythm of God's earth.

12) Toes know.
When your toes are happy,
you will know you have learned “the whole body smile.”

Smile, this is God's candid camera watching you do his will.
Be yourself...everyone else is already taken.
The Doctors orders are to repeat the process as often as necessary and share
with everyone whom you think would also benefit from “The Whole Body Smile.”

SMILE :)

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.



Michael_e
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