Living in the Now and Planning for Later

Tiny Wisdom:

 Living in the Now 

and Planning for Later

by:  Lori Deschene

Photo credit: Gail Ackerman

“As for the future, your task is not to foresee it but to enable it.” -

            Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


It’s a common misconception that being fully present means not setting goals. 

After all, if you’re truly connected to the now, you’re not thinking of building for later. 

If you’re awake instead of living on autopilot, you’re more concerned with the wonder 

of what’s in front of you than the wonder of what’s ahead of you.

I’ve spent a lot of time weighing the options, as if I needed to choose one way of 

being: peaceful or productive. This left me feeling conflicted, because instinctively, 

I want both. I want to feel awake in my everyday life, while still allowing myself to 

have dreams and work toward them. I want to accept and appreciate what is, 

while imagining and creating what could be.

I've realized that while mindfulness can help us feel a greater sense of happiness, 

life satisfaction generally requires a balance of being and planning.

As beautiful and freeing as it is to immerse ourselves in the moment, we do ourselves 

a disservice if we don’t devote a least a little time to shaping the ones to come. 

As liberating as it is to simply be, we risk growing complacent and stagnant if we 

forget we are always evolving.

There is a reason abundant research shows that goal-setting leads to happiness: 

recognizing our potential and then utilizing it gives us a sense of empowerment, 

growth, and pride. Life happens now, but our lives are more than any isolated experience. 

We owe it to ourselves to question what it is we really want to do, and how we’re going 

to do it.

John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” 

He was right. But sometimes planning is a perfectly beautiful way to experience life, 

particularly when it comes from a sense of fullness and possibility, not an sense of dissatisfaction and lack.

So I say dig your heels in today, look around, and appreciate what is. 

But remember, while 

enjoying the present, that the future is ours to create.

Photo by Katy Moeggenberg

10 Alcoholics

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Submitted by bobinaz



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10 Alcoholics, all in a line,
One got to thinking---
Then there were Nine.

9 Alcoholics, one said, "Wait!"
"A near beer cant hurt!"---
Then there were eight.

8 Alcoholics, lookin’ up to heaven.
One cut out meetings---
Then there were seven.

7 Alcoholics, doing service for kicks.
One started grumbling---
Then there were six.

6 Alcoholics, glad to be alive.
‘til one smoked pot---
Then there were five.

5 Alcoholics, greeters at the door
One played the Big Shot---
Then there were four.

4 Alcoholics, for fun and for free.
Ones case was "different"---
Then there were three.

3 Alcoholics, knowing what to do.
One rewrote the Big Book---
Then there were two.

2 Alcoholics, having some fun.
One started lying (or never stopped)---
Then there was one.

1 Alcoholic, talking to HP
"If only one is sober ---
I’m glad that it’s me!"
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. Thanks to Bob and ITR....ME and the Boss
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Capias

Capias



The picture is of a Birthday Capias.

A remembrance token that is given to guest at

a special party or event in the life of a Senor or Senorita,

birthdays, weddings, baby showers, anniversaries and/or any other

good reason to have a party.

The guest brings a gift and in return they are given a capias

which they wear like a corsage during the party.

The name or names (weddings, anniversaries, twins) are

embossed on the ribbon along with the date being celebrated.

Before photography became popular and inexpensive,

these remembrances were the best way to remember a good time.

Today, large plastic/magnetic replicas are used to remember

our armed forces and a large number of other causes.

It is good to remember good times.

It is good to remember others.

Make your gratitude list today.

Include all the good times and good friends you have had.

Whether it is a special event or just another day,

be resolved to make today a day to remember.

Today, have patience and tolerance, be forgiving, with yourself and others.

Do not worry about things you have no control over.

Do the things you are responsible for and do them

without complaining or without the need for recognition,

and above all, do them with love.

Make every day a party day.

Celebrate life.

"When You Feel Good,


The Universe Corresponds


To the Nature Of Your Song,


and Brings You More To Make you Feel Good."   ~ Menander

Remember to remember.

Happiness is helping someone help themselves.

ME and the Boss
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Are You Afraid of Success?

Tiny Wisdom:
by: Lori Deschene

“Success 
will never 
be a big step 
in the future; 
success
is a small step 
taken just now.”

 ~Jonatan Mårtensson

We often talk about releasing the fear of failure to create motivation and momentum,
but I’ve found that there’s another obstacle that can keep us from taking risks:
the fear of success.

Success in any pursuit requires responsibility. At one point, I decided this was
one thing I didn’t want. I didn’t want people to depend on me. I didn’t want to
create conditions in my life that I needed to maintain with consistency, both
in effort and earning.

I wanted the freedom to drop everything in a heartbeat so that I never had to
feel trapped. This felt safe to me. If I never chose to rise too high, I’d never have
to fall too far if I messed up; I’d never had to worry about disappointing anyone;
and I’d never have to consider that maybe I didn’t deserve any attention
or acclaim I might receive.

Perhaps you can relate. Maybe a part of you feels resistant to the changes that
might ensue if you advance professionally or personally. Maybe you’re afraid
that you’re not good enough, which makes you want to sabotage yourself when
opportunity arises. Or maybe you just plain don’t want things to be any different
than they are now.

If the last one is true—you truly don’t want to lose the weight, or get the job,
or start the business, or whatever it is that success might mean to someone else—
then you’re in a good place. You’re not afraid of success; you’re simply content
with the way things are.

But if you are scared, and somewhere inside you a quiet voice is begging for growth,
you owe it to yourself to question what’s really holding you back.

We all deserve to live lives that feel passionate and purposeful. And the world needs
for us to find the courage to do the things we want to do—not because we’re chasing
success, but because we want to make a difference, and we know we deserve and
can handle whatever that entails.

My success is learning and writing every day, regardless of how Tiny Buddha grows.
What is success to you—and are you going for it?



Photo by Frames-of-Mind
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Not Taking No for an Answer

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Tiny Wisdom:
Not Taking No
for an Answer


“Never allow a 
person to tell you no 
who doesn’t have the power 
to say yes.” 

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Many times in life we ask questions of people and then put way too much weight
on their answers.

We ask people we admire if they think we have what it takes, and then consider their
opinions fact. We ask people we respect if they think we should take a chance, and
then follow their advice as law. We ask people if they’ll take a chance on us, and then
interpret their response to be a reflection of our potential.

Other people can’t tell us how far we can go. They can’t tell us how our talents
could evolve. They can’t tell us if our risks will pay off. Other people’s “nos” aren't
what limit our future – it’s our own “nos” that do that.

The other day, I read an interview with television producer and former American Idol
judge Simon Cowell. He admitted that if Lady Gaga had auditioned for the show,
he would have instantly rejected her because of her over-the-top persona. Like her
or not, Lady Gaga has emerged as a force to be reckoned within the music industry
– a bona fide record-breaking pop icon, who likely isn't going anywhere any time soon.

Odds are she heard her fair share of “nos,” as does anyone with a dream.

Sometimes we hear “no” before we even get a chance to contact the person we really
want to reach. We hear “no” from assistants, and publicists, and agents, and associates,
and a number of other gatekeepers. Those “nos” are rarely final since a gate is made
to be opened.

We can take all these “nos” and use them as proof that we shouldn’t move forward
with our goals. Or we can learn from them, release them, and then keep moving ahead,
driven by a deep internal yes that refuses to be ignored.

Today if you come up against rejection, remember:

This does not mean “no.” It just means “not this way.”

Aug 24, 2011 |   by: Lori Deschene



Photo by Akuppa

The Tragedy of Missing Out

A father

and his son

went fishing

on a small boat,

hungry.


The father helped his son reel in his first fish, and it was a beauty.
“Great catch, son,” the father said.

“Yes, but I’m worried I’m missing out on better fish,” the son said.
“What if I could catch a bigger, tastier fish?”

“Maybe you should try,” the father said.
And the son did, catching an even bigger fish an hour later. “
A real beaut,” the father said.

“But what if there are better fish out there?” the son asked.

“Maybe you should try,” the father said.

And the son did, catching a bigger fish, then wondering
if there were better fish, catching another, and so on.

At the end of the day, the son was exhausted.

The father asked, “How did the fish taste?”

The son hesitated. “I’m not sure. I was so busy looking for better fish
that I didn’t taste any of them.”

The father smiled contentedly, patted his belly.
“Don’t worry. They were delicious.”
—


We are all of us like the son. We all worry, at some time or other,
that we’re missing out on things.
It’s why we’re so busy — we take on so much because we don’t want to miss out.
We take on dozens of goals and aspirations, because we don’t want to miss out.
But here’s the bare truth: we will miss out, no matter what.

It’s inevitable.

We cannot do or try everything in the world, even with lives twice as long.
We cannot see every town and city, read every interesting book, watch every
important film. We will always, always miss out.
Here’s the second, more important truth: if you always worry about what you’re
missing out on, you will miss out on what you already have.
Don’t make a reading list a mile long — focus on the book in your hand.
Don’t pack your vacation itinerary with every highlight of the city you’re visiting —
walk around and enjoy what you find. Don’t worry about traveling the entire world —
be delighted with the world around you. Don’t worry about what you’re missing online,
or in the news — what you’re doing is good enough.

And let go of your long to-do lists and goal lists.

They are a futile attempt to keep from missing out. You will miss out, but in striving
to do everything, you’ll miss out on the wonder of the thing you are doing right now.

What you’re doing right now is all that matters.

Let the rest go, and enjoy the fish you’ve already caught.

Post written by Leo Babauta.


http://zenhabits.net/miss/#more-8426

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That One Regret

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I remember
the call
from my mother
like it was
yesterday.

She said:
”Daddy’s sick.
He is going
to the VA
tomorrow
for testing.

It’s not going to be good.”

I remember my feelings were instantly that of relief. I had waited for this moment, in fact prayed for it my whole life, it seemed. But what she said next caused those feelings to be replaced with those of fear. “Amy, I know you think this is going to be an easy ride. I know you think you hate him. But I promise you this: it’s going to be much harder than you think because of your history together.”

For the next 24 hours I was lost in a place of nastalgia and anger. Occasionally a bit of sadness would swim in, but I would quickly get back to the matter at hand; which was hating that man. (The reasons are all unimportant to the reader, though perhaps wanted for a more graphic story, or impact. If it is imaginable, or unimaginable, it is close to accurate, so let your imagination be your guide.) The memories poured like rain from the gutter, and I was finding myself lost in the intensity of emotion. Almost getting high off of the anger itself. Getting high was something I was very experienced in, and finding ways and means to continue doing it was also my forte. I had been using opiates to “self medicate” since 1999. This was June of 2008, so I was well acquainted and well into my addiction. I, at this point, was taking only about 20 “greens” a day, but that was about to triple in a very short span of time.

I walked into his room to meet the rest of my family, who stood with somber looks about them; no one daring to make eye contact with me. I was so confused as to why they felt I needed shelter from their “bad news”. Hadn’t I deserved to know every single ugly detail about his diagnosis? Hadn’t I become a woman despite any and all attempts by him to deplete me of existence entirely? Wasn’t I the one that would be the least harmed by his sudden demise? I would rejoice! I would feel righted. I would be grateful. Heck, I may even finally stop using drugs! There in that bed lay the man I had blamed for every single problem that ever existed on earth, mine or otherwise. He was moaning a bit. He was barely conscious. Apparently he hadn’t eaten in well over 2 weeks and had been self medicating his lack of bowel movements with enemas and laxatives for 2 years. Without even one Doctor’s visit, the tumor on his pancreas had gone undetected and was now the size of a cantaloupe. They gave him 4 months to live and brought him by ambulance to my childhood home, now owned and operated by my brother and his wife. My family said to pack a big bag and stay. I did as I was told, knowing full well I would not be effected by this even a little, except to finally have some peace of mind.

Day one was fairly calm. He arrived, the hospice nurse arrived, the family gathered and discussed what needed to be done and by whom, and I began to detach bit by bit.

Being in the same house that all of my memories were attached to was a little bit uneasy. My brother and sister in law had done an amazing job of restoring, remodeling and basically reinventing the house, but it was still the house to me. My father lay in a room that once was our formal living room. He was in a hospital bed, and was able to communicate. I had never heard my dad complain in my whole life, and never seen him in pain. However on day 3 I ventured into the room (only because it was my turn to babysit) and sat down in a chair to watch tv with him. It was around 3PM when he made the first noise. It was not very loud, but it was very powerful. For the first time in quite possibly 10 years, I looked at my father. He was pale, thin, his face was beginning to sink in, and his mouth was cracked and had black tarry residue in the corners. He held out his hand for me to hold, and although I had gone over this exact scenario in my head and knew I would not respond to such manipulation by him, I instinctively grabbed it. He held my hand tightly and smiled. After 5 minutes or so, I tried to remove my hand because he seemed to have drifted into sound slumber. When I pulled slightly, he squeezed harder, and smiled bigger. This cycle continued for around 7 0r 8 times, and he finally let go. With one tired eye open he looked at me in a way I will always remember. And out of his once loud, attention getting vocal chords came a weak, raspy whisper. The voice was unfamiliar to me and for the first time since this began, tears danced down my cheeks. The words he spoke are etched in my soul.

“Your daddy loves you. Your daddy did the best he could. Your daddy’s sorry, Junebug.” That was it. That was the moment those memories of pain began to fade into a form of love. That’s when I began my process of letting go of the hate. I believed that man in that moment, and I agreed to forgive him. I also stepped out of denial of his impending death. My days there became more clear, and my motives became more pure. My job was to help him leave this earth as comfortably as possible, and with as much love as I could muster. It was uncomfortable at first, but as the days turned into weeks, I was home. I rained tears from that moment until the last. I was inconsolable, and I was grief stricken like I had never known. My mother’s words rang true in my thoughts and in my emotions. I raced through my memories trying to “fix” them with love and compassion, I rewrote events, I amended resentments. I was losing someone who, through all of his own sickness both mental and spiritual~ and now physical, had loved me. He had carried my pictures in his wallet since I became his daughter. He saved every infantile poem I had ever scribbled. He taught me how to survive, how to love, and how to be a strong woman, but my self pity and self loathing monopolized any chance of me seeing even the slightest good in him, or in my life. But he was leaving me now, and it was permanent. The game changed.

My father passed away 3 weeks after his diagnosis, to the day. It was also his 70th birthday. My father was not an evil man, he was a sick man. He was an alcoholic who never got the help he so desperately needed. I continued to abuse those “greens” until I reached 60 per day, and neared death myself. Today I have 19 months clean and sober, and I have no resentment in my heart for that man, or any other. I do have that one regret, though. That one regret is that on that day he held my hand and smiled, I didn’t smile back. He didn’t get to see with clear eyes, before the dying process really took hold of him, that I forgave him. He missed out on seeing my heart as it grew a few inches in that moment. Some say he knew it by my action, and I try to hold that as truth, but if I had just one moment to do over…

BY: Junebug

http://junebugmags.wordpress.com

{ August 17, 2011 @ 4:55 am } · { Death of My Father }
{ Tags: cancer, Death, forgiveness, healing, narcotics anonymous, recovery }
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Letting Go of Painful Memories

Tiny Wisdom: 
.By:Lori Deschene


“Pain is inevitable.

Suffering is optional.”

~Unknown




Recently, I’ve been listening to a guided healing meditation I found online. I searched
for it because I sensed something was wrong with my body, a couple weeks before a
doctor confirmed it.

I didn’t expect it would bring up old wounds, but it has. There’s one part where the
soothing voice instructs the listener to think back to the confidence of childhood.
When I hear this, it reminds me that I wasn’t confident then, and that many painful
events chipped away at my self-esteem.

At this point in the meditation, I usually shift my thoughts to a moment when I felt
self-assured performing onstage, but yesterday something different happened.
Instead, I cried. And shook. And shivered. Right then, it all came back–anger, shame,
and a sense of powerlessness.

I was surprised to feel those raw emotions, after so many years of healing and
forgiving. It reminded me that letting go truly is a journey, not a one-time choice.

A while back, in an interview, someone asked me if I think letting go is easy. I think
she was surprised when I said, “No.” In theory, it is. Just like you would simply drop
your arms and release something heavy you’re holding onto, letting go feels freeing.

The hard part is that we often need to let go over and over again. It isn’t like pulling off
a band-aid. Old wounds have a way of resurfacing as we stumble, learn, and grow.

This doesn’t make us weak. It makes us human. We don’t need to let go of anything
forever. We just need to learn what it means to let go in a moment, and then remember
what that looks and feels like to do it again when necessary.

It may mean practicing mindfulness, or reminding yourself that it wasn’t your fault,
or revisiting what you learned through the experience. What matters isn't that we find
letting go to be easy; it’s that we find it to be possible.

Today if you find yourself clinging to a painful memory, ask yourself: How can I focus
on healing in the present, instead of living in the past?

By:Lori Deschene









Image by Sofan Chan, The Art of Happiness Gallery

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Tiny Wisdom: Why We’re Not Honest with Friends

Photo Credit: Gail Ackerman

by: Lori Deschene

“An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.” -Proverb

Have you ever had a lengthy conversation with someone without acknowledging 

a single thing you were really thinking or feeling?

Maybe someone asked, “How are you?” And, instinctively, you said, “Fine.” 

Or someone asked, “What’s new?” And your knee-jerk response was, “Not much.”

It happens all the time, with strangers and friends. I suspect we do this because we 

don’t want to burden people with what’s really on our minds. And then there’s the 

potential for judgment. If you express what you’re really feeling, other people may not 

understand. If you communicate what’s been going on in your life, other people may 

not care or be interested.

The end result is polite disconnection. We keep things simple, courteous, and 

completely devoid of truth. It’s a choice to be alone together–sharing space, 

but little else; connecting without really engaging.

We  rob people of the opportunity to be there for us when we deny what we’re 

actually feeling. We also send a message that we’re not the type of friends who 

will be there for them. In order for two people to open up together, someone has to 

be willing to go first.

It can be scary to speak what’s really on your mind, especially if you think the other 

person has everything figured out. It feels vulnerable to admit that you don’t–but the truth is,

 no one does. Not a single one of us.

A few days ago, a very kind Tiny Buddha reader offered to coach me on the phone to work

 through my public speaking nerves. She asked some probing questions, as coaches often 

do, and I answered candidly, forming some strong insights that I know will help me going 

forward.

At the end of the call, I felt like I’d made a new friend, and it happened really simply: 

She was honest with me, I was honest with her, and we met each other as equals, 

each with our own strengths and weaknesses.

We’re all equals. 

We’re all struggling with something. 

We’re all working to let go of something. 

We’re all working to embrace something else. 

The world would be a far happier place if we could remember this and just be honest.

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Photo by Big Mind Zen Center

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I Am There

"You cannot see me, 


...yet I am the light you see by.


You cannot hear me,


 ...yet I speak through your voice.


You cannot feel me, 


...yet I am the power at work in your hands.


I am at work, though you do not understand my ways.
I am at work, though you do not recognize my works.
I am not strange visions. 
I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, 
can you know me as I am, 
and then but as a feeling and a faith.
Yes I am there. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need me, I am there.
Even if you deny me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you and you are in me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from me, for
only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine".
Yet only in your mind can you know me and experience me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing but I can do all,
And I am all.
Though you may not see good, good is there, for I am there.
I am there because I have to be, because I am.
Only in me does the world have meaning; 
only out of me does the world take form; 
only because of me does the world go forward.
I am the laws on which the movement of the stars 
and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the laws fulfillment.
I am assurance.
I am peace.
I am oneness.
I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to.
I am your assurance.
I am your peace.
I am one with you.
I am.
Though you fail to find me, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in me is unsure,
my faith in you never wavers,
because I know you, because I love you.
Beloved, I am there."

James Dillet Freeman

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The Truth will set you FREE!

by KUTE BLACKSON 

It is said that the truth will set you free,
but it might first piss you off.

Why are we so afraid of the truth?

As a culture we have devised all sorts of creative ways
to avoid the truth, often keeping ourselves so busy that
we can’t think or feel too deeply, distracting ourselves
with shopping, work, food, entertainment, drama and
all the rest.

It is our avoidance of the TRUTH that keeps us stuck
where we are, or cycling in repetitive patterns suffering.

What truth are you NOT telling?

The first step to transformation is the WILLINGNESS to tell the truth to ourselves. Then the next
step is to actually TELL it.  We must be willing to acknowledge, where we are, what is not working,
what we truly feel and what we really want.

Yet often FEAR stops us from being honest with ourselves, because it might mean changing things
 in our lives that we have gotten comfortable with. So we end up settling, or living in a lie that
doesn’t work, yet deep down we know that we are not truly alive.

We often don’t tell the truth, because we are afraid of:

- Getting hurt

- Not being loved

- Losing something, someone, status, and opinion of others

- Loss of Security and Survival

- Fear of the unknown and change

- The ego is afraid of Death

So much of our self-sabotaging patterns or negative behaviors are often our unconscious way
of actually seeking the truth. Deep within us there is an impulse that is seeking the Light. So the
energy it takes to live a lie and sadness of leading an inauthentic life is a high price to pay. 

Is it worth your freedom and happiness?

- We settle for relationships out of “convenience, but aren’t really convenient and kill our spirit.

- We work jobs we hate, and end up with high blood pressure, stress and dissatisfaction.

- We pretend to be someone we aren’t, selling ourselves out for the validation of others
and end up depressed or resentful.

You cannot be truly happy if you aren’t telling the truth to yourself. When the life we build
is based on a lie, like a sandcastle, it is only a matter of time before it crashes down.

When people say to me, “Kute, I really want to be happy.”

I simply say, ” Start telling the truth.”

Know that as a result of telling the truth and living authentically, things will change.
You may lose friends, relationships may end, you may leave your jobs, etc. Yet whatever you lose
you didn’t really have, and whatever remains then is yours. When you let go of what is not working
or not authentic in your life, you create the space for the abundant infinity of new blessings that are
already waiting for you. When you dare to be yourself fully, then what you attract will be an authentic reflection of who you really are.

Living a life based on fear is a prison. Freedom is available to us at any moment, by acknowledging
our truth, making the changes necessary and living in alignment with our highest self, we set ourselves
 free. You hold the padlock and you hold the key.

Ponder this:

Where in your life are you not telling the truth to yourself and others?

What are you avoiding acknowledging that if you did would change your life?

What are you pretending to not know or see?

What ways do you distract yourself from feeling your deepest truth?

What is it costing you in your life?

Deep down we all want TRUTH and authenticity. Gandhi said, “Truth is God”. Perhaps it is because
the Truth simply dissolves illusions that separate us from our true selves and each other.

The greatest lie that has kept us stuck, as humanity, is the belief that we are separate. When in fact
we are a unified consciousness, manifesting as a multiplicity of form, in the amazing play of life.

So, let’s begin telling the truth. Starting with: We are all ONE.

Love,

Kute

Check out more of my work at http://www.kuteblackson.com/

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How Criticism Helps You Excel

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Tiny Wisdom:

How Criticism
Helps You Excel

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by Lori Deschene

“Criticism is something
you can easily avoid
by saying nothing,
doing nothing,
and being nothing.” -Aristotle

No matter what you’re trying to do, someone somewhere has a harsh opinion.

Maybe it’s a virtual stranger. Since the advent of the Internet, people can easily vent
their judgments behind a cloak of anonymity. Most of the world’s successful people
have a Google trail laced with negativity.

Or maybe it’s someone who’s supposed to have faith in you—your father doubts your
aptitude for the legal profession, or your friend thinks your singing belongs in the shower.

Either way, it hurts. And you may lose steam as a result.

Don’t.

Barbra Streisand’s mother told her she wasn’t pretty enough to be an actress
and her voice was inadequate, to boot.

Peers criticized Albert Einstein about everything from his looks to his intelligence
as a child, yet he grew up to become the father of modern physics.

Many people in France considered Gustav Eiffel’s tower design an eyesore and
wanted it torn down.

“They” aren’t always right.

If you come against criticism today, realize it’s a gift. Whether it’s a valid suggestion
to help you improve, or a harsh judgment that reminds you to develop a thicker skin,
it can help you get closer to your dreams.



. Photo by Jen and a Camera.

Love-Fu:

Love-Fu:
The Martial Art
Of Dealing With
A Very Challenging Person

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by KUTE BLACKSON

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Those that challenge you the most are also your greatest teachers.
Thank them, for they are the ones that call you to live your highest potential.

They are the opportunity for you to face yourself, your fears and those parts
of you that you don’t like, for they will expose it.

They are the opportunity to see how you stop loving and to love bigger.

They invite you to live the books, your prayers and your spirituality.

Often when we are faced with a challenging individual, we get angry. We might
defend our point, want to fight, be righteous, judge or collapse in fear.

Most of all those that challenge us, give us the opportunity to love.

But we must first shift our perception, how we view the situation and
that person.



Here are some steps:

1 -Shift: See that person/situation as a gift. They are the opportunity
for you to grow and love more.

2 – Let go: Give up being right and commit to being FREE. Nothing/No one
is worth your happiness or peace. Life is way too short.

3 – Realize: They are reflecting something for you to see, a part of yourself
that you need to own, an old wound that you get to heal and let go.

4 – Responsibility: Take the focus off of them, take responsibility and
learn your lesson. Embrace it. Graduate from the experience and move on.

5 - Release: Accept the person exactly as they are. Perhaps that might mean
you will need to let them go from your life or shift the dynamics of your
relationship. Stop fighting what they are.

6 – Communicate: Either communicate with them directly if appropriate or
simply bless them and let them go within your own heart. Since everything
is energy and we are all interconnected, the good vibes that you send that
person will affect them.

7 – Appreciate: Acknowledge your growth and learning. Focus on what you
received, and the person you became as a result, rather than what was taken.

Remember: When someone attacks you, they are in a lot of pain. And even
though it is directed at you, it most often isn’t about you. It isn’t personal,
even though it seems that way and they might even feel that way.

You can choose to fight fire with fire, but this only creates more devastation.
When someone attacks you, they want to engage you in a fight. If you attack back,
you are now caught up in a vicious cycle.

Even if you win the fight… no one really wins. Let go. Focus on freedom
and resolution.

It takes two people to fight. When you don’t engage the attack energy,
soon your adversary will be left fighting with her/himself.
Then the energy will dissipate.

If you drop to the level of your “attacker”, you perpetuate the cycle of
endless negativity. Your “attacker” will try to use your energy to keep
a war going. But if you don’t engage, then there is no resistance.
They will have no fuel to keep fighting you with.

If someone gives you a gift, but you decline to accept it, to whom
does the gift belong? It still belongs to the other person!

Rise above it. Disengage. Step to the side. Redirect. Live your freedom.

So, practice Love Fu. Then “Peace” is no longer just a sweet T-shirt slogan.
And Love is not just some nice mantra. But Love becomes a daily reality and
the opportunity in action for you to live moment to moment.

Love,

Kute

Check out more of my work at http://www.kuteblackson.com/

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The Trigger Point

There comes

a time in life

when everything

changes,

and changes

in a big way.
                                                                                    Photo credit: Gail Ackerman

You are going along, thinking nothing will ever change. You are either happy
with how things are, or feeling stuck. But nothing can remain static forever,
because we live in a dynamic Universe.

Lack of change is as impossible as God's not loving you.

Change is actually a constant. It just doesn't always show to you. The wheel
is always turning. It's kind of like how it is with earthquakes.
Life - and the land - seems smooth and stable, but behind the scenes, under the
ground, pressure is building up, and that pressure ultimately must be released.

In life, if you are clinging to old and outmoded ways of doing, and thinking,
and being, if you are clinging to memories of the past in lieu of living in the
present and making the most of it, the same sort of pressure is building up,
but this one is a pressure for change.

The more rigid you are, and the more strongly you hang on to the old ways,
the rougher and more traumatic/dramatic it will be when the breakthrough/breakaway
occurs.

We are not saying that old is bad, nor that everything old should be devalued
or discarded. Far from it. It is a winnowing process, a separating of the
wheat from the chaff. The valuable nuggets are saved and preserved, while the
dried up husks that have no life energy left in them are blown away.

We call these "trigger points." The bullet is in the gun, quiet and dormant,
then without warning, it is ejected and flying freely in the air.

A total change.

A sudden change.

In between one state and the other, lies the trigger point.

Life is full of these trigger points. The more open and flexible you are,
the more ready to change and adapt to new opportunities and situations,
the easier and more comfortable these changes will be for you.

Some of these changes, these trigger points, you have some control over.
Others come completely unexpectedly. The difference between a planned
and unplanned baby. You can't be ready for everything, not the things you
cannot foresee.

So what can you do about it?

When you stay relaxed and in Love, centered in God and Joy and Appreciation,
trust will come more naturally, and fear will have less of a hold on you.
Trusting and remaining relaxed will insulate you somewhat from the buffeting
winds of change and circumstance. You'll stress less and cope better.

If you push back against the forces of impending change, you might as well try
to stop the progress of a glacier by leaning on it. Someone's gong to lose,
and it won't be the glacier. Give in gracefully, and turn your attention away
from resistance, to scoping out the new terrain ahead of you for new and
promising possibilities. For there are always new options, broadened horizons,
and tantalizing adventures, even if you never leave your home.



Don't fear these trigger points, for they are natural and bear wondrous gifts,
if you let them. But you have to accept the gift basket, and open it to begin
the enjoy what's inside. Open yourself to the next possibilities, and look forward
with joy and anticipation to your next trigger point and the gifts it brings.

We love and bless you, and we'll see you at the crossroads.

Namaste.

Posted by Orea

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On Believing in Your Ideas

Tiny Wisdom:
On Believing in Your Ideas

by: Lori Deschene

“Ideas can be life-changing.
Sometimes all you need
to open the door
is just one more good idea.”

-Jim Rohn

The other day, my boyfriend and I started brainstorming for a screenplay we’re going to write.
As we kept finding new details about the characters and events, I found myself fully visualizing
it in my head.

I saw what the actors would look like. I imagined the trailer. I could hear the soundtrack.
I was laughing at jokes that we didn’t yet write. The movie felt like a living, breathing organism,
and in that moment, even at the very beginning of this new journey, I fully believed in our possibility.

I told him it felt so real, even though it was just a seed of an idea, and in that moment, I believed
we could write it and get it made. That initial enthusiasm, the unadulterated belief–it’s magic.
It’s when you’ve yet to consider all the reasons it might not work. It’s before you’ve contemplated
all the odds against you, or weighed other people’s opinions as if they’re facts.

That’s the feeling that makes things happen: the belief in what you visualize. It’s not always easy
to retain it, especially when you start doubting what you know and what you can do.

I know very little about writing a screenplay, but I know I am passionate enough about my ideas
to commit to the process of learning.

You won’t always know what you need to know. You won’t always get other people to see
what you see. And sometimes even you might stop believing. Obstacles have a way of seeming insurmountable, but rarely is that true.

Today if you start thinking your idea isn’t good enough, take a deep breath and remember:

What’s important is not what you know in this moment;
it’s what you believe you can learn and do.

Photo by mockerfab4

Photo by mockerfab4

Tiny Wisdom: On Being Seen

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by Lori Deschene

“Enthusiasm
is the greatest
asset in the world.
It beats money,
power, and influence.”

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-Henry Chester
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Influence has become a huge buzz word, particularly now that social media
has taken the world by storm. There are sites to measure it. Blog posts that dissect it.
Books that analyze the psychology of it. Collectively, we’re obsessed with the ability
 to persuade other people.

It’s not just about driving consumer behavior, although clearly that’s a big part of it
–everyone needs to earn a living. It’s also not all about the ego–having the most followers,
the most retweets, or the most influential friends. I suspect it’s also about the desire to be seen.

With so many people sharing their thoughts, feelings, and gifts, it’s easy to feel like you’re
not being heard. Like you’re not making a difference. But sometimes in our desires to be seen
by others, we stop looking into ourselves.

There’s no denying that a spotlight can magnify the impact that someone can make. But if you
think back to the last time someone affected you in a profound way, odds are it had nothing
to do with authority or influence.

What really makes a difference is heartfelt, inspired action, backed by authentic, positive intention.

It’s not power of persuasion that moves us; it’s the power of passion.

That’s something we can all access, and it does make a difference–even if it doesn’t reach masses
of people. More importantly, passion makes a difference for us. No amount of approval or
validation can provide the same joy that comes from looking into and following your heart.

Today if you feel like you’re not being seen, ask yourself: What am I passionate about, and how
can I use that passion today to be the person I want to be?



Photo by florianpusch
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PROMPTNESS

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by: helpmegrow
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The eyes of all

look to you,

and you give them

their food

at the proper time.

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Psalm 145:15



FROM THE FATHER'S HEART

My child, I created time. Do I not have the right to decide what is the "proper" time for all things?
I have never been late. What you perceive as tardiness or indifference, I call a purposeful delay
only because I have ordained perfect timing which you know nothing about. Whenever you call,
I always answer. My line is never busy. When you seek Me, you will always find Me.
Promptness is something I delight in showing to My children.

A GRATEFUL RESPONSE

In my impatience, Lord, I often cry, "Hurry up!" You are never in a hurry, yet
You are always on time. Though I'm sometimes tardy, You've never missed an appointment.
For Your patience with my grumbling, and for Your promptness in my stumbling,
I give You thanks, Lord.

SIMPLE TRUTH

God has never failed to keep an appointment.
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On Loving Life

Tiny Wisdom: On Loving Life

 Lori Deschene

"If we


look at


the world


with a


love of life,


the world


will reveal its beauty to us.”

-Daisaku Ikeda

Whenever I visit my family in Massachusetts, I notice changes all around me. Sometimes it’s something major,
like a Rite Aid where a Mom and Pop shop used to be. Sometimes it’s something less noticeable, like a new door
on my parents’ neighbor’s house.

Other times, these changes take place in my family. My mother’s changed her hair color, or my sister looks
completely different after weeks on a new diet, or my father’s decided to embrace bright-colored clothes–despite
formerly insisting to my mother that they’re “beige and earth tones people.”

Minor or major, outside or inside, every change catches my eye when I’m visiting because I’m there so infrequently.

Each shift reminds me that a lot of life has happened in my absence, and it’s imperative that I notice and appreciate
every beautiful detail while I have the chance to do it.

Anything can change in a heartbeat, and so much often does before we have the chance to stop, admire, and enjoy
the beauty in how things are.

If we want to, we can make a million-and-one excuses to get caught up in our heads, wondering when things
are going to get good. I know I’ve done it before, and I’ve missed a lot in the process.

The alternative is to make a point every day to notice all the beautiful details, as they are, while they’re there.

This moment will never come again.

What’s there to love today?

HE IS NOT YOUR father. I AM.

I just wanted to remind you today

of how beautiful you are because

there is a father of lies who will

try to deceive you.

He will try to tell you that you are

not good enough, not attractive enough,

not thin enough, not strong enough,

not smart enough, not righteous enough,

and that you are simply unimportant to Me.

He will try to tell you that you have broken one too many promises,

that you have fallen one too many times, that you have lived one too many lies,

and that you've been going in the wrong direction so long that it is pointless

to turn back now.

But guess what?

YOU DO NOT BELONG TO HIM.

HE IS NOT YOUR father. I AM.

You see, you are My creation. My workmanship.

You have been borne of My thought, every part of you placed together

by My hands. You have My thumbprint upon you. You are a princess/prince,

 did you know that?

You are My child, the child of THE King! I look at you and see a precious,

priceless pearl. There is no ocean I would not swim, no mountain

I would not climb, no price I would not pay to have you and to be with you

and call you my own.

I already have.

I have done all that I could, given all that there is. I desire to be

with you every moment of every day.

How I long for you to talk to Me every day. My love for you never grows cold.

My promises are never broken (contrary to what he might lead you to believe).

My character never changes. And you, my child have been made in My image.

I love you dearly, unconditionally and completely. I understand every emotion

that you have. I've been there. I count every tear that you cry. I know every hair

on your head. And do you know what? I even know your weaknesses and your

failures and your fears. I know those hidden parts of you that you wish would go away.

Those dark corners of your world that you stuff deep down, praying that no one

will ever see. I have already seen them and they will not change my love for you.

Nothing will. I love your heart and I desire all of it.

I just wanted to remind you today of how beautiful you are

and how precious you are to Me.

With Unmeasurable Love,

Your Heavenly Father

by helpmegrow -

In The Rooms...Thu, May 19, 2011 at 3:55:52 am                       

Tiny Wisdom: On Asking for Help

 “It’s not the load

 that breaks you down;

  it’s the way you carry it.”

  -Lena Horne




We often think that admitting struggle is a sign of weakness,
but we all struggle sometimes.
We all get overwhelmed sometimes.
We all need help sometimes.
Acknowledging this is not a sign of weakness, but struggling alone
is a choice to grow weak.

We all need each other. No one is an island.

The good news is that people really do care.

Think about it. If someone you know was hurting, would you offer your support?
If someone you know got into a tough situation, would you help them find a solution?
You’d probably want them to come to you–to know that you care and they can trust
and depend on you.
Why not give them the opportunity to do the same for you?
Why push yourself to your breaking point when there are people who’d be honored
to help lighten your load?

If you’re carrying more than you can handle today, choose to let some of it go
by letting someone else in.
You may feel vulnerable asking for help, but wouldn’t the world be a better place
if we all learned to depend on each other?

by:  Lori Deschene